Dealing with Shame and Using It to Propel You Forward
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Jessi Beyer on How to Process Shame and Use Your Experience to Move You Forward
We all have things we feel shame about, but so often our feelings surrounding shame actually hold us back from other amazing experiences in our lives. Speaker, mental health advocate, and author of How to Heal, Jessi Beyer is joining me in this episode to share her own experiences with this process. We’re talking all about shame, how to process and deal with it, and how you can use your experience with shame to actually propel you forward to the next thing in your life.
Check out Jessi’s website
Follow Jessi on Instagram @jessibeyerinternational
Download the first 3 chapters of How to Heal
Her Entrepreneur Journey
Jessi is a speaker, author, and mental health advocate who had a long and winding journey to get where she is. Her entrepreneurship journey started when she was only 14 and she coordinated 3 iterations of a fundraiser. After struggling with her mental health in high school, she went off to veterinary school in Scotland. She loved it for a very short time before she realized it was absolutely not in alignment for her. She spent months unfulfilled and trying to find a way to tell her parents.
Jessi got her EMT license and went back to school for her Bachelor’s in Psychology. She had this desire to save lives and make an impact, so she decided to pursue becoming a pararescueman in the military. Because of her mental health struggles in the past, she was ineligible to pass the exam needed to follow her dream. All of this led her back into entrepreneurship and focusing on mental health and now she helps those around her feel valid, heard, and appreciated in their mental health struggles and design lives they love waking up to.
What was the process like for you of starting to let go of your shame?
Sheer survival. I felt it so many times in my journey. My choices were to stay in this place that I knew was absolutely not right for me or just admit it and deal with the consequences. I can’t imagine how bad my mental health would have gotten if I had stayed in those wrong-for-me situations. It becomes about deciding if you want to live your life or if you want to avoid the shame. It’s just important to remember that there’s no timeline to overcoming shame. You don’t just get a little sad and embarrassed and then work through it and you’re fine. You can still feel twinges of that shame and guilt and regret even years later, but it’s learning how to process and react to those feelings that matters.
You have a choice to either stay in a situation that you know isn’t right for you or face up to that shame and get on with your life.
If you’re in this position where you’re dealing with shame, don’t wait too long to face up to it. Life will keep going on with or without you and you’re not really living it if you’re wrapped up in this shame that you feel. At the same time, don’t feel like you have to get over it in a certain amount of time. It’s okay to still have the feelings and these struggles to deal with and everyone copes in different ways and at a different pace.
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